About 2 months and we have already moved back to Owensboro.  It took us moving to a big city to appreciate a small town.  


While in Louisville, I found, on FB, a child with cancer.  Through Tyler, I then "met" a great group of people who had started a crusade to provide items to put a smile on the children's faces by sending donated items to them via the mail.  We communicated and my whole outlook on life changed.  My fire was relit!!  I started promoting my own non profit again all the while, continuing to improve our personal lives.


I met a gift from God.  Her name is Catherine and without her this could not be happening.  We have, in a few short weeks, arranged not 1 but 2 fundraisers to benefit children with cancer.  We were planning what will be our annual fundraiser when we learned from church that there is a boy fighting brain cancer and the local doctors have done several procedures on him and the cancer has returned.  His mother has been given pills for him and told there is nothing else they can do.  Germany is the answer at a cost of $10,000.  It came naturally.  We both swung our heads towards each other and I started to cry.  We had found our first child to help and we needed a benefit ASAP.


Within 1 week we had secured the local Sportscenter and booked 2 bands.  Catherine has created the posters and tickets and we have started selling.


You know, all my problems can be cured.  These children live everyday not knowing if it will be the last and without complaining.  In fact, when Tyler was going into surgery today, there was another boy who the same surgeons were operating on and Tyler's was an emergency surgery and Tyler didn't hesitate to tell the doctors to operate on the other child he would wait........


God has blessed us with some of the most wonderful people we have ever met.  We are living for a whole different purpose now and know we have found our calling and with that comes the most peace we have had in years...........

2 Days and counting...

2 weeks later and we are 2 days and counting.  We are so ready for the beginning of this new chapter in our lives.  The excitement in Brandon is wonderful!!

At last post,  I had found what I thought might be a good venture with a website selling products.  Working outside the home is just not an option with our location.  You couldn't pay me to leave my son here alone!  There has been a rape, a murder, prostitution , and violence.  Women have propositioned Brandon who is 14.  I am getting to old to be in a parking lot going a round with people.  I don't collect welfare and do make money, but definitely not enough to get us out of here.  I sell from home and have been meeting people up the street to deliver their purchases.  Ashamed yes, embarassed yes.  People are so judgmental and I don't want to put anybody at risk coming here.

Limited resources in our current city and with no support system we have made a decision to relocate to another city that is far more advanced than where we are now.  Population - huge!!  Jobs galore and a gem of a friend who has reached out to us.  It is a decision that had to be made as we are a hair from homeless and things are not getting any better here.  I am also more determined than ever to make the non profit I am trying to start a huge success.  There is a lot of help for alcoholics, drug addicts, and the more than willing to take advantage of welfare .  For the simply less fortunate there is almost no help and the humiliation is beyond.

I am going to document our journey through this transition from near homelessness to what I call a much needed comfort zone.  Videos that I call "Our Climb" will be posted on my You Tube in hopes of inspiring others to keep strong and never give up.  Life can get better for those with a desire and the willingness of someone somewhere to reach out.  If it helps just one family to become closer and be more supportive than I have succeeded!!

I am not materialistic by any means but I want us to have the life back we had prior to that horrific time in 2006 when i lost custody of Matthew and Michael.  It was the straw that broke the camels back.  How that came about is another discussion but it wasn't abuse, neglect or otherwise I can assure you of that. I left the state trying to protect my kids.  What was left of my family went down hill from there.  We would take 1 step forward and 5 steps back.  Every time I turned around it was something else and yes I'm stronger for it but my kids have paid a heavy price.

5 years later and here we are sitting in the room waiting for the break we so desperately need.  Yes, a bottom of the barrel motel that I pay $190 a week to live in and am on guard 24/7.  It makes it difficult to sell my crafts and the emotional toll on us is not good.  I couldn't imagine living like this day in and day out!!

My first video will be the room we live in now bagged up, for the most part, and ready to go.  I will let you get a glimpse of a photo of me in much better days and a rare look at what I look like now to a point.  We need a lot of work in many areas and I want you to know what you see is not a worst case scenario and has many contributing factors that i don't think people really realize.

I'll go for now with the hopes that this attempt to promote awareness of the less fortunate and to inspire other people like us to stay strong and remain hopeful is taken to heart and you or someone you share it with will decide to reach out or gain strength from it.

A New Day


This morning I woke up with a renewed energy.  It is extremely hard to keep my head up.  I am an extremely strong person but I have been tested lately on many levels.  Trying to find a solution is extremely hard with no support system.  I have a friend in Louisville who is giving me assistance lately and I am forever grateful to her.  It was a last resort to call her because she has been through so much herself.  I am sssooo proud of her accomplishments she doesn't even know.


After talking with her, I sat down with the laptop, once again.  If I could just get some success with the selling online.  You see my son Brandon is disabled and he struggles with emotional, social, and behavioral issues because of what we have endured.  Some people can handle issues and some take it to heart and it affects them deeply.  He is one of them.  I do not put him on medicine because it is our circumstances that have attributed to his problems.  Medicine covers up the issue and we want to tackle them.  He is home schooled and can not be left alone so my only solution at this time is to work from home.


I make crafts of all kinds but struggle to sell them.  The whole process of listing, promoting, etc is very time consuming.  I am so tired but have learned so much.  My financial situation doesn't allow for a brick and mortar so I turn to the internet.  


Today, I signed up for a program selling a weight loss product and I can add other websites.  It only cost me $2.99 to start the basic free program.  Free is my word right now.  Wish me luck.  I would give anything to be a success at home.


Back to my son.  I am, once again, trying to find him a good counselling service in order for us to meet our long time goal of him returning to public school for highschool years.


Until next time, I must go post

I'm almost at the point of being very frank about our personal situation.  It's the judgements that will test me and I get a little hot headed about judgemental people.  I'm steadfast about the fact that no matter the situation, I am still the same person.

How I ended up here probably doesn't matter to the judgemental but I will jot it down anyway.  Not the  history, because I or you don't have 45 years lol.  We were struggling, my mother Wanda Hedge was struggling and with history screaming NO in my ear, I still didn't want her to end up in a nursing home and losing her house and we did need to get into the city.  God know's, it wouldn't be the first risky decision I had made.

We gave up our house and placed the last of our dogs and brought Eclipse and Shiloh with us.  Fitting all our stuff in a carport was a miracle but her first take advantage of the situation command was "All that stuff does not come in here!!"  Grin and bear it Mel, I told myself.

The very next day, I went to Peoplemark and was placed at Hunter Douglas.  It was the best thing that had happened to us in months.  WooHoo!!  Working thirds would allow me to still home school Brandon and stay focused on Jarrett House and my crafts.  I am very driven I just keep driving into brick walls.

 Next goal was to concentrate on a vehicle.  We had used my mothers car (keeping all the gas receipts of course because I had endured her tales many a time) and my Uncle Ken's truck (receipts kept because that's the kind of family I have) to move all our stuff from Ohio County.  My Uncle Ken finds and buy's us a pickup truck and provides for the licensing and insurance ($1,000).  We will pay him $75 / week until it is paid back.  We were on our way up!

Now keep in mind, we have only been allowed to bring in a few clothes and Brandon's books.  I am sleeping on the floor and my 6ft son sleeping on a 5ft couch and cannot use the living room period.  She told me to stop doing the housework I was making her feel inadequate.  I have always stayed on the go no matter what was going on.  Never sit and watch tv except for news.  There isn't even enough room on the page to write the miniscule things she was carrying on about.  My son was told he would wait on her hand and foot or my uncle would kick the shit out of him (that would've NEVER happened).

One day, she doesn't come home, stays gone for 3 days, wouldn't answer phone calls, and wasn't taking her medicine (she is bipolar).  She claimed we took over her house and she couldn't stand me.

The arrangements were discussed very clearly prior to moving in.  I would pay 1/2 the bills plus any amount they came in over her normal charges (that would be the extra from us being there).  She was going to start selling some of her belongings and packing the rest.  She applied to live at Lee Manor based on her income and I would purchase the mobile home from my uncle.

The message was loud and clear "Have your stuff out by Friday or I will call the law" says my aunt.

We gave up a home and our pets for this woman.  We were not being evicted and were not behind.  We were struggling though and this would have benenfited both sides for a few months.  I thought I had made great accomplishments in a short time and was feeling the best I had in months.

Unless you have $12 - 1400, you don't get a place.  We had not struggled this long to now have to go to a homeless shelter.  I wouldn't allow it.  It's not that I think I'm too good for a shelter,  it's pride I guess.  I have never collected welfare either.  I know what we lived like as young ones and I always said that my family wouldn't endure what we did.  What to do, what to do.  I would loose my job now, because Brandon has such issues, I don't leave him with anyone (I don't trust anyone anyway) and yes he is 14 and I'll not post publicly about him other than to say what little I have.  I hope that can be respected.

We got our stuff in a storage unit and spent the day waiting on word about a small shop that we had called about.  We could live in the back and a small business spot in the front for $250 a month.  Night fell and the man gave us the disappointing news.  The other party had grabbed the key first and was taking it.

Well, I'm crying now and like I said almost ready, but not tonight.  Just know that there have actually been 2 people that actually have no problem with where we are staying,  and they are doing business with me.  That's the kinda friends I appreciate!!!

Nite for now hold your families tight and always be there for each other

Hugs :)

Brandon now has found a star in the sky where we are housed that he says is Bella (one of dogs - his baby) and he misses her desperately.  Socially, Brandon has extreme issues and Bella Rose was his life.  For that I will never forgive her because my kids had been through enough already.   

Pondering

I get up in the wee hours. It's my time for a few hours. Looking around, I wonder if it will ever get better. Be like we were before. Not feeling sorry for myself, not that kind of person. Just wondering and asking why. Can't ever answer that.

I had 4 kids and have only 1 at home now and none are adults yet!! I was pretty unruly back in the day BUT when I found out i was pregnant with James, that all ended. Refused to put my kids through such a life. For 8 years, I lived, ate, and slept my kids. What a handful they were with no family support. But I was determined to give them a life we didn't have as kids.

Now certain things I don't need to go into details about, but the boys have different fathers. I am a firm believer that just because you are biological does not a father make. I was going to have my children not be exposed to certain things as long as I had any say!!

I met the twins dad at work, and contrary to my don't mix business with pleasure moto, I made one of the worst choices I have ever made. I wouldn't NOT have the twins as his wishes were, but I would have chose another father - if that makes any sense. He is an alcoholic and abusive. My strong willed ass wouldn't tolerate this and he needed to refrain from being drunk when he came to see Matthew and Michael.

We managed for about 4ish years with him coming a couple of times a year. Then all of the sudden he brings the new woman in his life to me and says they have helped each other to quit drugs blah blah blah. I give people a chance because I most certainly have made my mistakes. Well she was the she-devil in disguise. It didn't take long for her to start punching the boys, drunken rages in front of the boys, finding needles on the property, dosing them up on medicine to make them sleep and gosh there's not even enough space in here.

Exercising my duty and right to protect my kids, we went through the "system". What a waste of time and bottom line he is their biological father and he has his rights the courts say. My world says my kids have more rights than him!!!

In 2006, after much dissappointment and a lot of research including a lawyer consultation, I took my children to Alabama to see the court their for "protection" until I could resolve the matter in KY. The KRS allows for this.

I heard her words very clearly, but my head was still spinning. The wonderful lawyer, Andrew Johnson, had forgot to mention one little snag in the KRS option. I still had the open case I had filed in Juvenile court.

I would surely loose my kids for what I had just done!!!

I high tailed my ass back to KY and shortly thereafter, I learned that while I was in Alabama, custody had been given to their dad. OMG

Many years of social workers doing investigations on him for everything under the sun - and NO I don't mean he said she said bull shit - finally last year - he gets a DUI with the boys in the car, finding of neglect by Social Services, and he has a failing liver. Because the boys are scared to death to tell of what happens and know what happens when they tell a little, they cannot be removed. For their trust issues, I want to thank the former principal of Calhoun Elementary, because when Matthew told you, instead of doing what you were required by law to do, you called his dad and u know what happen when he got home? They have a wonderful counsellor at the middle school now who has tried to assure them but to no avail. She pulls Michael by his hair for talking to the lady. And dad thumps him in his chest so hard he cries.

My fear is, with a joint-custody order in place, that he will pass and I will not be in a position to prove to the court that I can provide. I have to be ready for them to come home and yet every time I turn around something else goes wrong.

So, back to the question, will it ever get better? I feel like I have proved my strength many times. The average person might not have made it through what we have come through. And when I say no family or support, I mean none.

I try to help others when I can, I don't have any bad behaviors for many many years now, I have always put my kids first and I just don't know.

I just want to have a quaint house and a reliable vehicle and just a small break maybe.

For now, i have to get back to posting. i try to sell online. No vehicle to get around places.

My business Facebook page and the first two weeks in our new place

Its been a hectic two weeks

We didn't have internet for 5-6 months and so you can imagine the catching up I have to do and the boys also!! One computer and a bunch of surfing withdrawals makes for a definite list on the wall. Saves any argument so they say.

I let the boys do catching up while I unpacked and made my little office corner and work space. I usually end up sprawled out across the house lol. The boys are patient about my phobia though. Got the cats, guinea pig, and hamsters settled in and I, of course, am never settled. Too much to do!!

My Facebook, I decide, needs to be separated from my business Facebook. I don't want to have a Fan page, admittedly, I'm not sure if that actually separates the two. So I do two. I then over connect myself and am posting everywhere twice oh no. Fixed that real quick because I don't want to inundate all my friends. I do consider connections on both pages my friends. Then I followed some blogs because I AM going to succeed at this even if it's in my last breath!! I have come along way in the 1.5 years though. Only wish I could have learned a lot quicker.

I am a single mother, though, and we have had some struggles that have hindered me from accomplishing what I have wanted to. I, like everyone else, has to accept that we are not miracle workers. I do envy people that have a good support system. My boys will benefit from my loss for sure. Our new place has brightened our lives immensely and I know this is just the beginning.

As I sit here writing, I realize that my commitment to help others, even though we have next to nothing, and always be there for my boys, is my peace. It has been a difficult 3 years for us and we, by the grace of God and a few good people, have gotten through it. I have stepped back, taken a breath, and am more determined than ever to make our lives better.

It is the silliest thing, but at times, it has been some of the people that we have conversed with on the internet that have given us our motivation. I have met some very helpful people and can never say enough about Bonanzle. I am sending wishes to two people in need, that I met on a site called Wish Upon A Hero, where I joined and posted my own wish. For those reading, give it a try and see whose wish you can fulfill. Some just want cards sent, or need diapers, or are wishing for a friend. It is the greatest idea I have ever seen.

Today, I am concentrating on promoting my products, improving my internet skills lol, and pushing forward with life. I start school in August to finish what I started many years ago and will complete now.


So, I'm off to do some more work. Till next time sending you and yours strength and happiness

Melanie Ambs

Been Absent for a While!!

So, I've been off line for about 5-6 months. Very glad to be back on line!!

Today, 1.5 years later, I learned a bunch about attributes thanks to a fellow Bonanzler. It is proof positive that learning is an every day event for sure.

We've moved to a new home and it has brought a much needed change to our lives. I am certainly hoping that this is the start of our climb up.

I have joined a few new sites and will eventually learn to link them and also make sure I don't over link lol

For now, I am off to read the paper and have a quick bite.

Until next time, prayers for everyone!!

Melanie